May 18, 2011 by Heather
For those who did not go to Oak Grove Middle School, she was my 6th grade English teacher. I loved three point paragraphs. How can you not, really? There is an introduction, a body of (presumably) three paragraphs that contain three points, and a conclusion. A beginning, a middle, and an end. A three part essay, done in five perfect paragraphs. Maybe that is where I got my affinity for odd numbers. It’s all so clear now. In this three point ¶, I will be covering the following topics: My New Job, Our Anniversary, and Why In The World Do My Hands Smell Like Maple Syrup.
(I interrupt this broadcast to tell you that, asap, you must go on over to dictionary.com and type in words like booger, poop, wiener, douche, and tinkle – and for each one click on the little megaphone symbol so that the computer voice says it. I swear I am not a 13 year old junior high boy. Really though, how can you not laugh at that?)
My New Job
I love it. The end. Just kidding, Mrs. Gill. I wouldn’t leave you hangin’ in the first paragraph. But honestly, I do love it. Yesterday, my first day, was a bit rough-ish because I was up the whole night before sick (dang it restaurant broccoli) and still felt crummy and blah on Monday. I also made the classic rookie mistake of trying to go home for my 30 minute lunch break. Yeah, no can do. Besides, when you work with a bunch of foodies, it is way funner and more interesting to eat lunch with fellow employees in the break room. Which, b.t.dubs, is more like a mini-kitchen than a dirty ol’ breakroom. (Shout out, Dillards! What up!) I love the work, I love the people, I love the environment. It has been so fascinating to see how, in just two days, I have used knowledge gained from previous jobs that I thought, at that time, was a little silly. I will not be the full time “candy buyer” until July, which is great because that gives me time to learn everything else! I really do enjoy it thus far. Andrew has been perfect in every way possible… Doing the laundry, the dishes, running errands, and looking for a job. I am glad though that he has this time of unemployment to recharge his batteries and chillax. Speaking of Andrew, that leads me to my second point. (Classic 6th grade transition sentence, right?)
Today marks three years that we have been united within the bonds and chains and choke holds of blissful wedlock. It has, truthfully, been very wonderful. More than wonderful. Spectacular. It really does get better with time, which is something everyone told us from the beginning, but we were young lusty little things and really only thought that marriage = doing it, duh. Come on fellow true-love-waits peeps, I know you know what I’m talkin bout. Anyways. The love does indeed grow deeper with each passing day. I am so blessed to have someone so incredibly loving and patient to share my life with, because I struggle doing both of those things naturally.. and unnaturally, for that matter. I love that we are in it together, that we are witnessing each other’s personal evolution and growth and seeing how two hopelessly imperfect people can, somehow, come together to be a part of something pretty darn close to (dare I say it?) perfect. I am beyond blessed. To celebrate the momentous occasion, poor folk style, we used the $15 his mom sent us to go to Five Guy’s for super delish burgers & fries, then we used the Starbucks gift card my mom sent us to get dessert. We also wandered down to Sephora and I made Andrew try on man eye cream. He picked me out a crazy color of lipstick to try on and then we left, came home & skyped with the sister, and watched 24. I also chased Mayfield around our dorm room with a broom, just for kicks.
Why In The World Do My Hands Smell Like Maple Syrup
Seriously, why? I have not been anywhere near the stuff. I have washed my hands multiple times today. Get it together, hands. I really don’t have time to smell like pancakes. I have an image to uphold.
In conclusion, I would like to say that I really enjoy My New Job, being married to Andrew who I celebrated Our Anniversary with today, and I am still curious about Why In The World Do My Hands Smell Like Maple Syrup. So, your mom in a box and I love Taylor Hanson and Jonathan Taylor Thomas and purple lipgloss with chunky glitter. 6th grade rox.