secret dreams. come on, you know you have them too.


July 1, 2011 by Heather

1.  To be a fabulous, loosey goosey singer much like Florence of Florence + the Machine, or maybe like Sarah McLachlan.  And by loosey goosey I mean free and expressive, complete with big arm movements and beating of drums and wailing of emotional, poetic lyrics that came to me in a time of despair or heartbreak or oneness with nature.

2.  To have a sleeve tattoo.  Maybe not on my whole arm, just like from my shoulder to my elbow.  In my dream it has a mermaid somewhere in the design  with glittery seashells covering her boobies.  Also, she has love handles and a facial expression that says, “I love my love handles and I am totally hot and awesome”.  And it has swirly stars and maybe something creepy like an anatomically detailed insect or bird.  Perhaps I should just settle for something less obvious and strange, like a shooting star across my rear.  Juuuust kidding.  Maybe.

(haaaaaaaaaaaay, lookatmuhbooty)

3.  To be one of those girls who doesn’t sweat.  You know the kind of girl I’m talking about.  She’s the one next to you on the treadmill, leaping along the tread belt like a slender gazelle, perfectly coiffed ponytail blowing in the wind that isn’t actually there.  In the mean girl side of you brain you kind of want to do a quick head fling and give her a nice little shower of your own personal perspiration.  But no, you are a graceful sweater.  You plod on, slowly melting into a stinky puddle and wiping your face, neck, and elbow sweat every 30 seconds.  You hope Miss Treadmill America doesn’t notice that you also use that same towel to blow your nose on.

4.  A washing machine/dryer combo that actually folds the clothes and can be programmed to put them where they belong.  I guess in a rich world this is called a maid.

5.  To have no stretch marks.  Or cellulite.  Or whatever that strange substance is that makes the sides of my rear and the uppermost part of my thighs look like the salt map I made in 1st grade.  I am totally fine with the movement of it.  I can handle jiggle, it makes me feel like a voluptuous woman (at least on the bottom half).  But what is up with all of those ridges and potholes and splotches?  I swear.  It’s like I’m walking around with a back country Mississippi farm road beneath my jeans.

6.  For the following food items to be healthy and calorie free:  Rocky Road Ice Cream, Cheesy Scalloped Potatoes, Everything at Cracker Barrel, Glazed Donuts, Chocolate Chip Cookies, Big Fat Cheeseburgers, An Entire Cheese Pizza, Rotel and Tortilla Chips, and last but not least, Biscuits and Gravy.  But I guess that could fall under the Everything at Cracker Barrel category.  Also, I wish it was a healthy option to eat an entire box of cereal in one sitting.

7.  To have the kind of extra moolah that makes spending $40 at Sephora or DSW seem like a negligible amount.

8.  To have a more innovative sense of style.  For example.  Tonight in our apartment parking lot I saw a lovely young lady about my age wearing white skinny jeans with a flowy black top.  I would never think to buy white jeans.  Well, I mean, I might look at them in a store and think, “Oh, cute,” but I probably wouldn’t buy them because in my mind I have nothing to wear with them.  But her outfit looked so chic and fresh and summery.  I’m inspired.


What are some of your secret dreams?  Let’s keep it PG, people.  I recently learned my handsome little brother is reading this.  HEY B.J.!!!!!

Now for what I do in my dream numero uno.  I give you my favorite, hand motionly and emotionally expressive gals:




10 thoughts on “secret dreams. come on, you know you have them too.

  1. Katy Miller says:

    haaaaaaaaaaaay, lookatmuhbooty= hahahah!!

    1. I look at myself every day in the mirror and want to be thinner. Duh. Every woman does. Every woman has something they don’t like about themselves.
    2. I wish all woman (and men) loved themselves for who they are. And I wish no one would judge other people and everyone would love each other for who they are. I’m not all WORLD PEACE! I don’t believe in that, I just mean LOVE.
    3. This isn’t so much a dream as a deep thought: I sometimes don’t believe in dinosaurs or gravity. I mean, seriously, how can tiny animals survive and huge dinosaurs go extinct. I think it’s all made up. I also think there is a cure for cancer and they are just keeping it a secret for only the rich people.

    Ok, I know I don’t have any real hopes and dreams, but I kinda like it that way. Keeps me loose and not so rigid so that I can live my life to the fullest with each new day. Ya never know what God is gonna put in your path next, so in case my plan doesn’t match his, I say, “Make no plans.”

    • KJ, you have such deep thoughts. No-go on dinos, huh? But what about the land before time? All of that totally happened. All 16 of them.
      Also, you are beautiful. Next time you look in the mirror, think about how you just lost 45 pounds the healthy way in what seems like a week. Also, take a moment to admire those fantastic cheek bones of yours. And then take them off of your face and give them to me. Thank you.

      • Katy Miller says:

        Heather-Ya I’m not like obsessed with how fat I am or anthing, it’s just every once in awhile I feel like a lardass. And of course Land Before Time Happened. Sara, Petry, Duckie, Spike, and Little Foot were my best friends growing up.

      • Yeah. I really think, like you said, that all women have those moments, even if they don’t admit it, and even if they have no real lard on their @$$. I am so impressed that you remember all of their little names. Awww. I wonder if that’s on netflix.

  2. Dear ole Dad says:

    who are those people? isn”t one of them the rescue the dogs lady? interesting thoughts. you will be fine. keep your head up and find the next path God has for you. i love you.

  3. jrisner says:

    Here is my list:

    (1) I want children and lots of them! Mine or adopted or both, I don’t care.

    (2) I want to be a missionary.

    (3) I want lips like Julia Roberts

    (4) I want hips like Beyonce

    (5) I want to pay someone to do all my laundry

    (6) I want to find a job I can do from home

    (7) I want YOU to find a job you can do from home

    (8) I want to see all of you (the BS) more

    (9) I want to have married Jared Risner a WHOLE sooner than I did!

    (10) I want to have been a part of the Button Society WAY earlier than I did.

    God’s way, however, is not my way. Oh well! I love you and I love to read your blog. It makes me feel connected to you while you are so far away. P.S. Blogging is way fun and I love it, as well.

    3 weeks until we see each other!


    • Aw. I love all of those dreams so very much Julie. You are going to be such an amazing mother, and it will happen, all in God’s timing. Man, Julia and B do have it going on in those particular regions, don’t they? So true.

      Also, whenever I click on the link for your blog it says it is no longer there. What the????????

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