beating a dead horse

2

July 16, 2011 by Heather

After typing the title I realized what a horrific saying that is.  I mean, it isn’t literal, of course, but still.  But I feel like beating a dead horse tonight, the dead horse being getting fired from my job.  I promise that eventually I will move past this and blog about amazingly interesting and spectacular things.  Not tonight, though.

The gamut of feelings/emotions I have felt in the 18 days since getting $#!+-canned:

Lame.
Loserish.
Defeated.
Hopeful.
Hopeless.
Confused <–quite a bit.
Sad.
Lazy.
Not good enough.
Mean.
Angry.
Embarrassed.
Silly.
Dumb.
Free.  Haha.  What, it’s true.
Like I don’t have a clue what to do.

I still don’t have a clue what to do.  Those stupid dang dumb fake jobs on craigslist that I sent my resume to have bombarded my junk mail inbox with loads of ridiculous crap-ola.  I have applied to other ones too that I am just waiting to hear back from.  Every time my phone rings I am hoping it is the hospital calling me for an interview.  Buuut, nope.

Mom says if she were me, she’d be more urgent about finding a job.  I know I probably should be, but I don’t want to work at a grocery store.  I don’t want to work at a craft store or a restaurant.  I want a job that garners a little bit of respect, at least from myself.  I’m sure next month when my thoughts are more along the lines of, “I want to pay the rent,” I will be pimping myself out to every fast food place in town.

I just still feel so ridiculous.

And I am so tired, what’s up with that?  I started taking some B-12 supplements earlier this week, so I’m hoping the added vitamins will lift my exhaustion from the depths of the earth.  So far, nada.

I promise more enthusiastic blog posts in the near future 🙂

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2 thoughts on “beating a dead horse

  1. Katy Jane says:

    Take a B-12 shot to the @$$. That’s what Chelsea Handler does. Also, maybe you should buy a bottle of wine.

  2. Hannah J. says:

    Bahahaha.
    Heather. Just sit back and think of the glorious day that you and I will be sitting in the floor of my casa making Harper a colorful ribbon canopy. Do it.

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