September 2, 2011 by Heather
To clarify what I said about getting a job: Yes, I got a job. I had an interview on Tuesday and, provided my drug test and background check come back alright (fingers crossed), I will start sometime next week. The reason I didn’t go into much detail about it was because I’m not super duper excited. Don’t get me wrong, I am so grateful to (possibly) have a job. The fact that it is at a grocery store and pays barely minimum wage is not exactly thrilling though.
I am going to be a floral clerk at King Soopers, which is like Kroger. I applied there on Monday because I was to the point of desperation (it’s the beginning of the month, which means bills..), and out of ALL the places I applied to, they are who called me. I have applied to over 50 places. And it wasn’t even because of my work experience or my college degree or my awesome skill set. She said she was drawn to my application because of my open availability.
I’m not complaining, really. I’m not. It’s just not what I wanted. (I know.. I wanted a job, and it’s a job… I know I know I know.) Luckily, the store is really nice and the floral department is pretty and I have experience working for a florist… and I won’t be bagging groceries, which is the job I was actually interviewed for.
I really am very grateful to have a job.
It’s just that, well, at some point in my life (before kids) I’d really like to have a grown up job. Something I can be proud of, something that garners a little respect. Something that pays decently and that makes me feel like I am doing something halfway important. A job that I am confident in and employers who are confident in me.
And I knnooowwww, my job is not my identity and I need to take pride in who I am in Christ and not in what I do and all of that. I know, trust me.
I am just being honest.
And while the honesty is flowing like hot syrup, allow me to continue on a totally different path. As you know, I’ve decided to be more fashionable. (how ridiculous does that sound?) So last night I was surfing the net and perusing various fashion blogs for inspiration. You know, the kind where it’s this girl who apparently doesn’t have a real job but still manages to wear designer everything. It is just pictures of her and whatever fancy outfit she has put together for that day.
I have put on a few poundages since losing my job, so the oh-my-gosh-I’m-fat part of my brain is on high alert these days. Don’t judge, it happens to everyone. So I was a little annoyed at these little twiggy bloggers in all of their fancy wear. I know, everyone has their own insecurities, and I’m sure those girls have plenty of their own. And they were all gorgeous girls. It’s just when your brain’s self esteem quadrant is out of proportion, it is easy to think irrationally. Anyone who has ever struggled in this area can understand.
So, onto why I was bothered (because this is rapidly becoming quite snarky). Each girl’s blog had a part where she answered questions from the readers. And most of them had a question about how she stays so trim. Many of the replies were along these lines:
“I really hate to work out so I usually just try to go for a walk a couple times a week.”
My beef here isn’t really even with these walking girls. It is with the fact that I have to work. my. butt. off. to maintain minimal rollage while still eating yummy stuff. That is what is annoying, especially when I would much rather just go for a walk a few times a week.
Well wasn’t this post just a barrel of joy and gumdrops. 🙂
Happy Friday. Anyone else out there PMS-ing like an angry cow?