Great Expectations, part two


September 9, 2011 by Heather

As I mentioned in my previous post, the lofty (unrealistic?) expectations of women have been on my mind a lot.  I decided to write them down as they popped into my head, and came up with quite a list over a period of a few days.  I paid attention to the expectations I felt like I was dealing with personally, as well as the ones a lot of my friends are facing.  Many of the expectations contradict themselves, which just goes to show that maybe we can’t have it all.  I hope no feminist groups come beat me up in the middle of the night for saying that.  I am just being honest and realistic.  We need to cut ourselves a little slack.

This is by no means a full list of all the “should and should-nots” out there.  There is not enough bandwidth to hold a list like that, am I right ladies?  So feel free to speak up and add to this list.  In fact, please do.  That way I don’t feel so weird about thinking all of these things.  It should also be noted that these are not things I think women ought to do.  They are simply things that myself and others sometimes feel pressured to do or not to do.  In no particular order of importance, here goes.

  1. Don’t expose your insecurities, because insecurity = weakness.
  2. Be thin and toned, your muffin top is in fact not all that.
  3. Go to college, get a big girl job, climb the ladder of success.
  4. Don’t be needy.
  5. Have babies, lose the baby weight.  Fast.
  6. Keep the house clean.
  7. Have lots of sex and like it every time.  Great Sexpectations?
  8. Dress nice, keep up with the trends.
  9. Know how to cook, even better if you can cook like his mama.
  10. Keep up with the kids, the husband, and yourself.. in pearls and lipstick.
  11. Be confident (see #1).
  12. Keep those legs, armpits, bikini line, and upper lip shaved and smooth.  Yes, I have a lady stache.
  13. Get married and seamlessly fall into your role as trophy wife.
  14. Don’t dwell on how you look, but still look good.
  15. Proverbs 31 woman, anyone?
  16. Know who you are.
  17. Have hobbies and passions, and they better not be shallow (make-up and magazines? come on.)
  18. Do a man’s job, but get paid less.
  19. Stand still, look pretty.
  20. Don’t settle for being just a stay at home mom.
  21. Be ambitious and driven to succeed.
  22. Don’t let your life revolve around a man, or a house full of cats.
  23. Go!  See the world!
  24. Stay!  Put down roots!
  25. Like salad.
  26. Get control of your emotions.
  27. Contribute to the checking account, not the well being of your man.
  28. Don’t use your period as an excuse.
  29. Have a child by 35.  You don’t want breast cancer, do ya?
  30. Endure the spanx and the lacy underthings, even if they make you want to jump off a building.


9 thoughts on “Great Expectations, part two

  1. flamingomama says:

    Thanks for the CLARIFICATION. I totally agree with (in no particular order) #23, 5, 9 and 6. Disagree with (again, no particular order) #28, 28, 28. What other excuse do I have, I mean really?

  2. Hannah J. says:

    Haha, these are funny. And totally true.

  3. I agree with ALL of those. The only one that I think I have actually started to deal with is the fashionista part of being a woman. I finally realized that what I wear or how I wear it does NOT make me who I am, and it will NOT make me into who I want to be. I have started wearing what I like, whether it is trendy or not…because sometimes I don’t like what’s trendy. I have started wearing my hair and makeup in a way that makes me look good and feel comfy, and if there is anybody out there in the whole wide world that care about what I wear, or my hair or my makeup or my muffin top…oh well 🙂 I know I’m not the most fashionable person in the whole world…and when I finally decided that I don’t CARE about that, it felt like a weight was lifted off of me!
    And also…for a long time I did NOT want to have kids, and I was SERIOUS about it, too. Only in the last few months have I started to consider it. Lemme tell ya…99.9% of other women just DONT understand that. You want to be judged…try telling someone you don’t wana have kids…you might as well tell them you are a leper.

    • Pahahaha so true about the kids thing. Well, not that it matters, but I think you’d make a terrific mama! I am the same way with clothes. As I’ve gotten older I’ve gotten way more picky about what I’ll wear and what I buy when I go shopping. If it’s not soft or comfortable, fuhget about it.

    • Katy Jane says:

      Totally agree with the children thing! And it’s so true that if you tell a mother that you don’t want to have kids, she looks like she wants to have you committed. Listen, I am young and I love my freedom right now. Why rush something that is going to take up the REST OF MY LIFE. Maybe one day, but not now.

  4. flamingomama says:

    Excuse me. As YOU have gotten older??? Let me tell you a thing or two about getting older. EVERYTHING is better!!! AND if it’s not, you just don’t care! ha.

  5. Katy Jane says:

    Heather-I never really pegged all of these pressures, but when you put it down on paper, it’s very true. Me not cooking for Dan while I’m on my diet makes me feel so guilty. Not having my house clean because I work an hour away, makes me feel guilty.

  6. carol says:

    Umm…2, 3, 5, 6, 7, 10, 20, 21, 24, 26- did you read my mind or what? E.v.e.ry. day. Just found out a couple of moms I know recently went on depression meds and their lives have been turned around. Funny how all those things add up and make you feel like a complete failure and cause depression!

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