April 19, 2012 by Heather
As soon as my alarm went off at 6:30 this morning, I was cranky. I could feel it in my bones. Some people might say that we have the power to change our moods and blah blah blah. They obviously have weaker moods than I, so more power to them and their positive thinking. My cranky moods take over with a mighty vengeance, just ask my husband. A mood like that is written all over my face and is heard in just about every sentence that comes out of my pretty little mouth. I should be able to control it. I should. (insert shoulder shrug here)
So I was cranky from the get-go. Not good.
Then I got semi-lost while taking Mayfield to the groomer. I say only semi-lost because I wouldn’t have been lost at all if the place had given me better directions. After four calls to Andrew, three threats to throw Mayfield out the window, and turning around twice (or was it thrice?)… I found it. I walked in, already stressed out, and the radio in the waiting area was blaring some Marilyn Manson-sounding song. My dog’s freaking out, and there was a dog off in some other part of the building making noises as if someone was cutting off his furry limbs with a rusty butter knife. I still can’t believe I left my precious pooch there. Luckily, she came out ok. I only hope she doesn’t need years of therapy down the road…
Then I came home and decided I needed to get out and do something. I gathered up a few baby shower items that needed returning and set out for the first stop, T.J. Maxx. The closest one is 25 minutes away, blerg. On the way there, traffic was slowed for quite some time due to a car wreck that looked really, really bad. Like, bad. I finally got to T.J. Maxx, waited in line, and presented my item to be returned.
The girl punched in the item number. “This is from last year. Sorry, we can’t take it back.”
So I crankily headed back in the direction from whence I came. While trying to turn onto the interstate, the guy behind me honked at me twice. TWICE. There was so much oncoming traffic that I couldn’t turn, you crapwad. I mean, it was obvious why I wasn’t turning. I couldn’t! His stupid honking made me so frustrated that I called him a dirty word that didn’t even make sense. I’ll not repeat it here. Actually, now that I think about it, maybe it does make sense.
Luckily my next stop, Target, was much kinder about their return policy. I only had two things to take back, and one of them was so old that it had the brand’s former labeling on it (the girl told me that). What is the deal with people gifting old stuff? Do they buy this stuff in advance thinking, “Oh, this will make a great gift next year.” Maybe it’s an old lady thing, who knows.
I walked around for a little while, still mad at the honking guy. I saw a very frazzled looking mother with her three small children. She looked tired and frumpy and had on mom jeans. And that nagging selfish thought crept back into my head like it does from time to time… I can’t do this. I can’t. I am going to end up just like that and I really don’t want to.
I’m not sure what to do with thoughts like that when they pop into my brain. I mean, I’m going to have a baby. I’m going to be a mother. There’s no way around that, and I wouldn’t change it for anything. But is the frazzled, mom jean look inevitable? I know it’s not, and maybe that mother is so completely happy, and I hope she is… I just……I don’t know. siiiiiigh.
Then I got a hot dog, found a bag that will work wonderfully as a non-diaper bag diaper bag (you read that correctly), and got myself an early birthday gift – new makeup brushes, eyeshadow, and bright red lipgloss. I felt much better, about everything.
Moral of the story: I’m just thankful I wasn’t the one in the awful car accident.
Oh, and sometimes a little new makeup can go a really long way.