the rules


May 3, 2012 by Heather

Ah, marriage.

This morning I offered a carefully worded suggestion to my husband.  I had thought about how I was going to say it, focused on a gentle delivery, and said it as nonchalantly as possible so that it wouldn’t come across as a nagging attack.  You have to tread lightly around guys – it’s surprising how sensitive are, believe it or not.

My suggestion turned into a full-on conversation dissecting what I meant, how it was to be executed, and that he would indeed take it into consideration but only because it was important to me.  “Not because I want to!”  How very kind of him. I was also warned that if I did not take notice of the change that he would stop doing it.  Deal.

You’d think that I had asked him to start getting regular pedicures or something.

As the conversation was ending and time for him to leave for work was drawing near, he said, “Just another one of your rules!”

I (lovingly) glared at him over my coffee mug with raised eyebrows.  “My rules???”

“Yeah, you know, your rules,”  he said with a sheepish grin.

“Would you care to tell me what other rules you are forced to follow?”  I asked, trying not to laugh.

“Well, like having to change my clothes after we get home from eating Mexican!”

“Is that it?”

“No…”  he said, pouting.  I could tell he was struggling to come up with another valid rule.

I decided to help him out.  “What about how you can only use a towel one time after you shower and then I have to wash it?  Is that a rule?”

“YES.  I can never find a towel because you always take it.”

“That’s because your towels always smell funny.  Is it so awful to have to use a fresh towel every time you shower?”

“Yes.  It is.”

Rough life, I’m telling you.

It’s hilarious, really, the little things that bother us.  Most of the things that annoy me, at least around the house, have to do with cleanliness.  I wash the sheets weekly, change my pillowcase every other night, do laundry every day, bleach the shower curtain, buy new toothbrushes regularly, floss my teeth, change underwear a little more frequently than what is needed.  Andrew thinks all of these things are so weird.  I think they are all good, healthy, normal things.

He used to get almost mad whenever I’d change my pillowcase, yet again.  Now he just rolls his eyes and laughs at me.  And now I know what he’s thinking in that cute little man-brain of his.

“Just another one of her rules.”

Here I am.


One thought on “the rules

  1. Hannah J. says:

    Hahahahaha. That picture is extremely spot on.

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