when big girl panties just aren’t big enough


June 12, 2012 by Heather

I really should have titled this differently, because you should SEE the underthings I am wearing these days.  They are the definition of big girl panties.  I finally let go of the hospital mesh undies and found some ginormous granny panties at Walmart to last me while I recover for the next five hundred years.  They are so huge.  And therefore wonderful.

I am spending the week at my mom’s.  Recovering from the c-section has not exactly been that great, which has only added to the strange transition that comes with having a new baby.  I was not expecting it to be quite this painful or difficult to overcome.  Throw in a massive pile of raging hormones, and you have one hot mess.  This weekend we were visiting Andrew’s family and it was all I could do to keep my you-know-what together.  I kept sneaking up to our room and closing the door to either cry or keep myself from crying.  And not because of my in-laws, because I have the very best.  I was so very emotional and in so much physical pain that the idea of going home to a place that was beginning to feel a bit like a breastfeeding prison sounded like more stress than I could handle.  So Andrew did what any good and caring husband should and would do – he called my mom.

Parker and I have been spending lots of quality time together – without the stress of pets, housework, etc.  It has been extremely refreshing.  My dear mother – or “Nana,” as she is now called – has been loving on both of us the way only a mother can.  This mama needed her mama, oh so bad.  She helps with Parker, brings me water and snacks, does our laundry, brings him to me when it’s time for him to eat, checks on us during the night.  She is wonderful.  I look at her in a whole new way now that I myself am a mom.

As far as the baby blues go, being here has really helped.  Just getting to focus on Parker and a little bit on myself (shaved legs!) has been like therapy almost.  Hanging out, watching Nana’s cable.  Bouncing on Nana’s bed, using her coconut body wash.  Grilled cheese sandwiches and biscuits & gravy.  Soft blankets and towels.  Letting it all hang out, quite literally.  I have been breathing in my little boy and with every exhale telling him how very much I love him with all my heart.  And he responds with, “Yeah yeah, mom.  Show me the boob.”



3 thoughts on “when big girl panties just aren’t big enough

  1. Marcia says:

    You are just wonderful!

  2. Jennifer says:

    I remember being the exact same way. I was so fortunate that 3 weeks after the bear was born we moved not only into a house my family owned but less than a minute away from my mom. That first few months was wonderful. She’d come over, clean, help get dinner ready, sit and rock the bear, let me shower (the most important part). Enjoy your mom being your mom while you be a mom for as long as you can!

  3. Sarah says:

    You are doing a wonderful job! I know it is hard, especially with a hard recovery. I know what that’s like. 😦 Andrew is so great to have called your mama! What a great guy.

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