August 24, 2012 by Heather
Last night I didn’t get around to lacing up the ol’ sneaks until close to 9:30pm. Parker was sound asleep, Andrew was happily listening to podcasts and playing Fifa, and the dishwasher was churning away. There was the tiniest chill in the air outside, and it was dark.
It was dark. Which can only mean one thing.
It was time for a little something I like to call Dance Walking, a.k.a. the best exercise ever.
The route I’ve been going on recently for my walk/jogs is a half-mile loop that I repeat however many times I feel like it. Don’t be fooled, the most I’ve gotten up to so far is 3. It makes a perfect square, so I’ll run a stretch, walk a stretch, run a stretch, walk a stretch. My own little version of Couch to 5k.
Except sometimes it goes like this – run a stretch, dance a stretch, run a stretch, dance a stretch. You know you want to be my exercise partner.
See, I’m not ballsy enough to do this in the daylight. I’ve seen people who are, and it is just amazing. There is a little old man who I see from time to time Dance Walking in our neighborhood. I think he works at a nearby factory and walks during his lunch break or something. The man has moves. As in, air drumming and stopping mid-stride to dip it low and pick it up slow.
You might feel a bit silly the first time you try it, but just trust me on this one. It makes the running stretches a little more bearable when you know that in just another minute you get to have a dance party. I clap, snap, pop it, drop it, shimmy, whip my hair around, you name it. In my mind I look like Jennifer Lopez standing in front of a fan covered in bronzer and wearing a leotard. In reality I am a hot mess.
Sometimes it is hard to come up with move after move, and that’s ok. While you are planning your next awesome dance move, you simply continue to speed-walk like a Victoria’s Secret model on steroids, shaking your post-baby hips from side to side in such a way that makes you feel absolutely ridiculous. If you don’t feel ridiculous, you’re not doing it right. But it’s ok because you look totally amazing, I promise.
It is important to keep a look out for oncoming cars and other walkers. Fortunately, where we live, there is not much of that at all. If you do happen to be spotted by someone and you are in the middle of a rather vigorous booty shake, here’s what you do: you keep going. Don’t stop your shaking just because you’ve been caught. Hold your head high, lips puckered out, all like, “Yeah, that’s right. I’m Dance Walking and I look hot. Take a picture.” They will either A) Wish you were their girlfriend/best friend because you look so cool, or B) Be jealous of your brave public dancing skillz.
So next time you want to make some lame excuse for not wanting to exercise, just wait until the sun goes down. Strap on your ipod, and go outside for a dance party with a little walking involved. You’ll be glad you did.
Dance Walking Playlist
1. Super Bass – Nicki Minaj
2. Moves Like Jagger – Maroon 5
3. Pretty Girl Rock – Keri Hilson
4. Poker Face – Lady Gaga
5. On the Floor – Jennifer Lopez (feat. Pitbull)
6. Run the World (Girls) – Beyonce
7. Upgrade U – Beyonce
8. Anything by Beyonce, really.
9. Glamorous – Fergie (strike a different pose for each letter)
10. Womanizer – Britney Spears
11. Buttons – Pussycat Dolls (feat. Snoop Doggy Dog)
12. That’s Not My Name – The Ting Tings