September 7, 2012 by Heather
Before our hot date the other night, I was feeling overly confident and asked Andrew to please retrieve the box from the storage room that held all of my pre-pregnancy pants. I thought, surely I can at least fit into the ones that were way too big for me before I was pregnant. I’d been eating healthy, going on walks, and breastfeeding like a machine. Of COURSE my old pants would slide over my child-bearing hips with the greatest of ease. Lots of my new-mama-Facebook-friends had posted about how their pre-pregnancy jeans fit, so why shouldn’t mine?
How very wrong I was. It was like trying to put a toddler’s sock on an elephant’s trunk. Or slide one of those rubber pencil grip thingys onto a telephone pole. I might as well have tried on Parker’s newborn jeans. My once-baggy pants barely made it past my knees. My KNEES. Nevermind getting them to zip and then button, PAH.
In an attempt to avoid a meltdown and still feel hot and sexy for our date, I peeled off the %&$# pants and quickly grabbed my maternity skinny jeans. They fit, but there was so much spilling out over the top that I had to remedy it with my wonderful control top mom briefs. (Question: where does all the stuff go that they suck in? One of life’s greatest mysteries.)
I stepped on a scale yesterday for the first time in two months and discovered that I in fact had not lost as much as I’d convinced myself I’d lost (not even close), which was more than a little disheartening. Because even though the weight is a result of my sweet little boy who I wouldn’t trade anything for, I am ready to feel like myself again. The extra weight, the crazy hair loss, the funky hormone-induced pimples and bodily secretions and emotions… it’s enough to make anyone feel like a ginormous hot mess.
Finding the right time during the day to exercise has proven to be rather difficult. Maybe there isn’t a “right” time. I used to be able to do a workout dvd during Parker’s naps, but now his napping is kind of all over the place and I never know how long it will last. I sweat like a man-pig, so I really like to shower right after I exercise so that his next meal isn’t covered in nasty sweat. There’s only so much freshening a baby wipe can do, if you know what I mean.
If I want to run, well, I better just have fed him or pumped or else my chest makes it pretty impossible to run without looking and feeling like a human earthquake. I miss running so much. Maybe I just need a tighter bra. Plus Andrew likes to run right after he gets off work, so we have to time it just right in the evenings if we both want to do something. And now three nights a week I have cheerleading practice to be at (I’m the sponsor), which happens to fall during the time I usually do my workout.
Yesterday, in the midst of me trying to keep my cool and not have a vanity-induced pity party, I found this article about losing weight while breastfeeding. It was very helpful and sort of talked me down off my I’m-So-Fat ledge. I saved it as an icon on my phone so I can read it whenever I am feeling, well, fat.
“Remember that breastfeeding provides your little one with a wonderful nutritional start to life as well as creating lifelong bonding between the two of you. That is something much more important than a number on a scale and provides a wonderful value that is worth the price of a changing body. Don’t give up in frustration. Stay focused on what you are doing right and trust that your body will respond as it should to nourish your baby and yourself.”
My sister has recently informed me that she is tired of hearing me complain about my lingering weight gain. So, for the rest of you who feel that way, I apologize. BUT I can promise you that all the other new moms out there are thinking about it just as much as I am, they just aren’t being as vocal and whiny. Pudgy Moms Unite!
Just pretty please don’t say what I keep hearing: “It took a while to put it on, and it’s gonna take a while for it to come off.”
If I hear one more person say that….. well, I might just hit them in the face with my mom-spanx.