two mornings


September 19, 2012 by Heather

Tuesday, September 19, 2012, 5:10am

This morning my alarm went off in Walnut Ridge, AR.  Time to get up and go over to the gym for our cheerleading workout.  I snoozed it another ten minutes, then threw off the covers (completely burying the dog & cat underneath) and gratefully welcomed the chill that was in the room after a night of leaving a few windows open.  Before making a left down the hall to the bathroom, I made a right into Parker’s room to find him sleeping peacefully under his fuzzy blanket, one arm flung out to the side and the other across his face in a very dramatic fashion.  And like every morning, I found myself wishing I could climb into his crib without waking him (and breaking the whole dang thing), just so I could press my forehead against his and feel him sleeping – his warmth, his breath, his little body next to mine.

Monday, September 19, 2011, 5:10am

My bladder’s alarm woke me up in Fort Collins, CO.  Man, I gotta peeeeeeeeeeeee.  I stumbled across our studio apartment into the bathroom and sat on the cold toilet seat.  Halfway through my urination, I remembered the pregnancy test we had bought on a whim the night before at WalMart.  When your normally-regular-period is two and a half weeks late, you buy a pregnancy test.  Oh yeah, I thought.  Better get that over with.  I squeezed my legs together while I opened the box and popped the lid off the stick.  I finished peeing all over the place, luckily with some of it landing on the stick part.  I carefully sat it on the counter.  Oh, the thoughts that go through your head while waiting for results like that.  Two minutes feel like a lifetime.  Well, except when it only takes about ten seconds for those little pink lines to appear, and rather boldly at that.  Two little pink lines, and just like that… just like that.

I remember going to work that day and randomly putting my hand on my stomach, not even realizing I was doing it.  During my break I went outside and ate an apple and tried to gather my thoughts.  I couldn’t even *think* the word.


It is really amazing to me how God works – how moments that seem so shocking and unplanned to us don’t phase or surprise Him at all.  How something, someone, that I wasn’t ready for is now such a huge piece of my heart.

From this:

To this:


….to this:


And now, this:


Goodness, the difference one year can make.

“For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
 Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.”  – Psalm 139:13-16

(click here for my first blog post about being pregnant)


2 thoughts on “two mornings

  1. […] If you’re in a reflective mood, check out this post from one year ago today.  Today marks two years since I stared at a positive pregnancy test in our tiny bathroom in […]

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