October 25, 2012 by Heather
A few days ago my crazy side got the best of me, and I’m kind of glad it did. It’s a good thing Andrew was at work since he recently asked me to “be a little less crazy,” because a few days ago for about five minutes I fully embraced it and let it do it’s thing. Sometimes you just have to give in to the crazy.
It all started when I realized that every time I walked by a mirror in the house (bathroom, bedroom, closet), I would inevitably look at it. Which, on that particular day, the reflection was not all that spectacular. I had on the frumpiest outfit ever, my hair was all jacked up, and I had just spent 20 minutes putting on a boat load of makeup to try and make myself feel better. It did not work. In fact, it did the exact opposite. It disgusted me. Why did I think that caking on some flesh colored goo and slicking on a bunch of eye liner would help?
It frustrated me to discover that (light bulb moment) makeup had become a sort of mask for me, a way to attempt to hide any and all imperfections. Instead of using makeup as a fun way to enhance natural beauty, I had been using it as almost a type of drug. I know it sounds weird, but hear me out.
Hello, my name is Heather, and I am an addict. I am addicted to the way makeup can cover up what I don’t want the world to see. I’m addicted to how it can make me look like something that I, perhaps, am not (well-rested, glowing, etc). I feel like I have at least something on my face to even take the dog for a walk. I’ve been like this for a long, long time, and it’s exhausting.
I recently read about The Naked Face Project. My first thought was, “It’s just a bunch of crunchy granola ladies who don’t even like makeup in the first place.” And while that may be true, it is a very interesting concept – go without makeup, hair products, and shaving for 60 days to see how it affects your own views regarding beauty, confidence, etc. While it intrigues me, I’m not really interested in doing it right now. I’m not feeling that crazy. I may be doing some serious outer beauty purging, but I’d still like to have my makeup and wear it too.
On that particular Monday when I was feeling grossed out by my own inability to pass a mirror without checking to see if my forehead looked too shiny, I decided to do something about it. So I took the bathroom mirror down.
Now, it doesn’t sound like much, but think about it. How much of your day does the bathroom mirror suck up? For me, it was more than I’d like to admit. Upon entering and exiting the bathroom I would check for errant chin hairs or practice my duck face while re-poofing my bangs. At night I would spend a good amount of time scouring my pores for blackheads or taking extra time to pat on my eye cream. Applying makeup took forever, not to mention fixing my hair.
That type of mirror gazing can lead to a very destructive behavior I like to call self-hate. As in, “Ugh I am so sick of the way I look, why do I have all these pimples, why don’t my cheek bones look like so-and-so’s, why can’t my hair just look normal for once.” It’s not a healthy way of thinking, and it makes
you me act like a total self-absorbed sour puss.
As I removed the screws from the mirror, I had a thought. What if I spent as much time primping my inner beauty as I do my outer beauty? Boy. Maybe if I did that my husband wouldn’t be asking me to reign in my crazies.
Since I took the mirror down, it feels like a weight has been lifted. Andrew thinks it is weird, but I kind of like it. I have been using a tiny compact mirror to get ready. It’s quite nice actually. I get ready faster, I pee faster, I do my bedtime routine faster. I discovered that if you blow dry your hair without looking in a mirror it doesn’t take as long.
Of course I have other reasons for de-mirroring the bathroom wall. I’ve got a different one that I am going to paint the frame on and hang, eventually. And I want to get a different light fixture, which would have required taking the mirror down anyway. But for now it kind of feels really, really good to not have it in there.
So if you happen to see me and I look like a hot mess, it’s because I’m using a 3-inch mirror to get ready. But I can guarantee you that my insides are feeling a lot better than they have in a long time.