December 3, 2012 by Heather
Anyone who knows me fairly well would tell you that I am a little…slow when it comes to doing certain things. Things like: getting ready to go somewhere (this is one of my family’s favorite things to make fun of me for), preparing a meal, cleaning house, losing weight, getting used to new things (ahem.. marriage, motherhood, etc), shopping, decorating, the list goes on and on.
A few things I can do quickly include eating, getting mad, and judging. Obviously, I am a wonderful person.
It really wasn’t until I got married that I became aware of my slow tendencies. Maybe it’s because I am married to the world’s fastest man in the world when it comes to all the things I am slow at, who knows. For real – my list of slow things up there? It takes him about two minutes to do each of them. My fast things, he does slow. We are a good match to say the least.
I asked my mom this weekend if I had always been slow and methodical like this, and she said, “Oh yes.”
Having a baby has really forced me to speed things up, or at least change the way I do them. If I want to take my time getting ready to go somewhere in the evening, well, I better use Parker’s morning nap time to do so. If there is a tiny window of opportunity for me to go for a quick run, well by george I had better take it. And it’s amazing how fast you can shower when there is a fussy baby sitting in a bouncy chair on the other side of the curtain.
But, having a baby also slows some things down. If I want our house to look just right, it is going to take me 4 months to unpack everything. If I want to make a more involved recipe for dinner, it becomes an all day ordeal as opposed to just starting it around 5pm. We can be rushing around and in a hurry to get somewhere and I have to sit down for 20 minutes in the middle of it to nurse. And – I’m sure every other parent can relate to this – we are almost always running a tad late when going anywhere now. (Now? Who am I kidding. Late is my middle name.)
Sometimes it can be frustrating, all of the changes that come with having a tiny little human who depends on you for everything (ev-er-y-thing). Your pace of life is drastically altered from the moment that baby leaves the womb. It’s not all about you anymore, and for an incredibly selfish person like myself that can be a bit jarring. Add in the fact that I am slow to adjust to new things, and whoa, holy cow, now there’s a hot mess.
I’m running again regularly, and it has become such a therapeutic time for me. It’s amazing the deep and reflective thoughts you can have while Little Wayne is blaring in your ears. I was jogging along yesterday and it occurred to me that I am finally starting to feel sort of settled as a mother. I don’t want to jinx myself by saying that, but it’s how I’m feeling right now, so I’m gonna say it. I mean I have my really bad days (last Monday) that make me question why in the world I am doing everything I’m doing, but everyone has those. Right? I mean, you guys do have those days, right?
Being slow at certain things is super annoying, especially when it involves warming up to something huge like motherhood. But I feel like I’m finally coming into my own as a mom, even if it’s just a little bit. And that feels so good.
“Smile, breathe and go slowly.” – Thich Nhat Hanh