January 2, 2013 by Heather
I am having a very slow start to 2013. I was in a weird funk all day yesterday and this morning I woke up feeling like I could sleep for at least five more days. I thought changing out of my pajamas might help my groggy situation, so I changed into something that could very easily still be called pajamas. Note to self: putting on a bra does not an outfit make.
I think my funky funk started internally a while back, and then yesterday in the midst of a zillion family members it decided to turn itself inside out and I just shut down. I tried to be my usual self but it wasn’t happening. So I quietly ate my New Year’s lunch at the adult table and spent the rest of the time busying myself with mommy duties and gathering our things so I wouldn’t completely melt into a puddle of anxiety on the floor.
My insides just feel so dang restless. I always laugh at the commercials for Restless Leg Syndrome medication, but I really think there is one of those legs stuck in my chest and it is just rattling around in there. I wish in one of the ads that they would parody the Stanky Leg video and instead do the Shaky Leg. Wouldn’t that be the best thing ever?
Do tha shaky leeeeg, do tha shaky leeeeeg.
Because of my shaky leg insides, I am having trouble coming up with a good New Year’s Resolution. I want to do all of them. Maybe this is what you could call Stay at Home Mommy Syndrome, where you just want to do anything and everything because you are kind of tired of being home all the time.
And maybe I will do it all. Anything is possible, right? Ahh, 2013, the year Heather did it all.
And then I read something like this:
“No one longs for what he or she already has, and yet the accumulated insight of those wise about the spiritual life suggests that the reason so many of us cannot see the red X that marks the spot is because we are standing on it. The treasure we seek requires no lengthy expedition, no expensive equipment, no superior aptitude or special company. All we lack is the willingness to imagine that we already have everything we need. The only thing missing is our consent to be where we are.” ~Barbara Brown Taylor
…and I think that maybe, just maybe, I am right where I need to be… already doing all the things I need to be doing.
Of course, I can still learn French and plant a garden and have more dinner parties.
But I can also force my internal shaky leg to calm the freak down.
One day at a time, one day at a time.
Here’s to Two Thousand Thirteen, and all of the wonderful possibility it contains.
Now, get ye to the top of your coffee table and do this: