March 5, 2013 by Heather
Let’s pretend we are at Starbucks wearing scarves, drinking lattes with extra whipped cream and caramel sauce, and we have a good two hours to kill over stimulating conversation. These are the things I would tell you about, only after listening intently to you of course.
I’d tell you that as hard as I try to keep my carbs way way low, I never ever want just eggs and a piece of fruit in the morning. You know what I mean? I want some oatmeal with peanut butter in it and a big stack of buttermilk pancakes, dang it. I’ll eat eggs and avocado slices for lunch and be totally fine and satisfied, but there’s something about waking up to them that makes me want to forgo breakfast altogether. Toast with PB and banana for the win. Some things never change.
I’d tell you that I have been fighting a cold since Friday, and rather unsuccessfully so. Parker woke up yesterday morning with it, poor thing. We snot noses can stick together. Just wait, Andrew. It’s coming for you.
I’d tell you that even with my sore throat, I have somewhat managed to proceed with the beginnings of my triathlon training schedule. I swam 750 yards on Saturday and went for a run last night. Tonight I bike till the cows come home. Not really, just for 30 minutes. And inside on the trainer, since it is frigid and windy outside. Boo.
You: But why in the world did you decide to sign up for a triathlon, especially when you are still wearing your maternity jeans? You are crazy.
Excellent question, coffee friend/big fat jerk face. I’ll address all topics of your loaded question. I have always wanted to do a triathlon, and told Andrew a few months ago that if (IF) we are to ever have another bebe, there are a few things I’d like to accomplish before then. Doing a triathlon is one of them. As for the maternity jeans, I was getting really effin sick of working out for the sole purpose of losing weight. It just gets really old after a while, you know? So now I am not merely working out, I am training. Instead of only working toward a goal weight, I am working toward a bucket list goal, and that makes a big difference in the way you (or at least I) view exercise. If I lose weight in the meantime, cool. And if I don’t lose weight after exercising like crazy for three months, then I’ll probably just say screw it. It ain’t happenin’.
Speaking of which, I’m pretty sure the chlorine in the community center pool broke my face out like crazy. I look like I have chicken pox from the neck up. What’s that all about.
On that same note, if we were having coffee, I would tell you about this sweet-a blemish extraction tool I bought at Walmart for $1.88. I almost got one from Sephora once for like 15 bucks, but come on, that’s 15 bucks. So when I saw one for cheap at wally world I snatched it up and ran home as fast as I could to see if it worked. After some practice I have figured it out. Listen, it’s the most fun you can have, like ever. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, it’s this little metal wand thing with two loops on the ends. One loop is flattened out and the other isn’t. If your nose is blackhead city like mine, you need this awesome toy. It does some work.
I’d also tell you that Parker has recently found his own new awesome toy, called Mom’s Thighs That Hang Over the Edge of the Toilet When She Goes Potty. He will pull up onto his knees and just sit there and squeeze them with his little hand while I am trying to do my business. He’ll look up at me and laugh. Really, son? Really?
Listen, I hate to cut our coffee date short, but I have a decent amount of laundry to do this morning. Oh, but one more thing. Do you also feel like you have Jolly Green Giant fingers when you type out something on your iphone? I mean for real, is the keyboard made for toddlers? It is really getting on my nerves lately. I’m about to let that darn auto correct thing just do whatever it wants. Ain’t got no time for that.
Happy Tuesday. Or is it Wednesday? Nope, definitely Tuesday. Happy Tuesday.