Just Plain Weird, or, What Parker Won’t Get for Christmas

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October 15, 2014 by Heather

There’s this show that comes on Nick Jr. that I already wasn’t a fan of before I saw their mega-creepy products.  It’s called Lalaloopsy, and it’s about these weird sewn-together-patchwork looking dolls with buttons for eyes and pink hair and really short skirts.  I have no idea what the premise of the show is — there doesn’t seem to be that strong of a plot line — but the characters alone are enough to make me cringe and change the channel (which isn’t saying much considering my general disdain for the majority of cartoons).

Anyways.

So toy manufacturers have started bombarding television with their commercials in an effort to make all kids scream and point at the TV and beg for it for Christmas.  Lalaloopsy has a fun awesome crazy wonderful new doll out that they’ve been advertising during Parker’s morning cartoons that he watches while I become accustomed to the daytime.

The first time I saw it, I swore to myself I hadn’t heard it correctly.

The doll poops magical charms. 

THE DOLL POOPS MAGICAL CHARMS.

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Then!  THEN you take the charms and make a bracelet with them.

I love my son, he is the most precious thing in the world, but NEVER EVER have I loved anything in his diaper enough to pick it up, put it on some sparkly yarn, and tie it on my wrist.

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"Look mom!  My very own poop bracelet!"

“Look mom! My very own poop bracelet!”

I looked it up on Amazon to see what the reviews said (some are hilarious), and Bobbi writes: “This toy has added a lot of fun to potty-training; my daughter has been searching for charms in all of her bowel movements, and I’m searching for more charms to hide!”

I just can’t.  I cannot even.

To be clear, the charms do not work themselves through the doll’s digestive system, somehow they appear in the diaper after it gets wet.  Who even knows.  WHO COMES UP WITH THIS STUFF.  Probably Bobbi.

HAPPY WEDNESDAY

all photos from Amazon

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One thought on “Just Plain Weird, or, What Parker Won’t Get for Christmas

  1. Tori says:

    So I just stumbled across your blog looking for Jamberry reviews. I enjoyed your Jamberry post, so I thought I’d read some more and found my way to this one and CRACKED UP reading it. You are funny! Love it! I’m officially a fan now. Consider yourself followed, but not in a creepy stalker way, in an RSS feed way.

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